Pants 0. Shit 1.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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