so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
