Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
