dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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