I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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