literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
