Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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