Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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