How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
