K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Can i not drive my cunt home
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize