No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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