They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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