Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize