Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
