can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
