Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
being pregnant is like rehab
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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