So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
where does the pee come out of this thing
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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