i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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