When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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