I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
