I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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