Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
