I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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