Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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