let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
