like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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