So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
