its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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