woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
