Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
