U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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