OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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