Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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