Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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