Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
