Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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