I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
