Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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