When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
