I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
