i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
