just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
