I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
