Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
