I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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