guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
