Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
