I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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