I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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