Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Randomize
