So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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