ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....