Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.

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(843): This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit. http://tfl.nu/ua7t

Replies (9) Good night (1015) Bad night (865)
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(303): View more from Colorado

if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous

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(303): if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous http://tfl.nu/li9c

Replies (19) Good night (7556) Bad night (773)
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(917): View more from New York City

you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.

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(917): you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza. http://tfl.nu/ks5u

Replies (31) Good night (987) Bad night (11767)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.

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(717): just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high. http://tfl.nu/38z6

Replies (24) Good night (4466) Bad night (1129)
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(432): View more from Texas

To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway

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(432): To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway http://tfl.nu/h9fr

Replies (8) Good night (3339) Bad night (1197)
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(876): View more from Jamaica

After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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(876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv

Replies (32) Good night (8604) Bad night (1393)
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(315): View more from New York

careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....

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(315): careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there.... http://tfl.nu/ypb5

Replies (10) Good night (6392) Bad night (1577)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

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(570): I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink. http://tfl.nu/sq0r

Replies (11) Good night (917) Bad night (3735)
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(315): View more from New York

She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.

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(315): She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts. http://tfl.nu/f020

Replies (10) Good night (2097) Bad night (1344)
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(940): View more from Texas

he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend

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(940): he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ls1q

Replies (11) Good night (920) Bad night (3558)
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(317): View more from Indiana

The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.

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(317): The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics. http://tfl.nu/667h

Replies (7) Good night (3553) Bad night (873)
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(415): View more from California

Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage

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(415): Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage http://tfl.nu/93nr

Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (514)
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(916): View more from California

That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag

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(916): That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag http://tfl.nu/rjsr

Replies (6) Good night (1585) Bad night (648)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.

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(703): I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone. http://tfl.nu/an49

Replies (5) Good night (482) Bad night (926)
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(636): View more from Missouri

She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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(636): She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet. http://tfl.nu/ogh1

Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (403)

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