So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
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Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.