this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way