Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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