I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
