This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
