I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize