piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
