I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
