he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
