I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
