Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
