it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
