please come you make the beer taste better
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
