But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
