She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
