You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
