we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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