Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize